


Chapter 5

by orphan_account



Category: Onward (2020)
Genre: #blameTV, Confessional Sex, Confessions, Crack, First Kiss, IKEA, M/M, Parody, Tentacle Sex, my poor attempt at humor, stuff at the end was from a discord conversation, that's why I'm dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23917150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There’s a certain (restricted) section of Quests of Yore that is inaccessible to everyone except magic users. Barley really wants to know what is in those restricted pages and Ian is reluctant but curious too.
Relationships: Barley Lightfoot/Ian Lightfoot
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

  * For [motherofrevels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofrevels/gifts).



> I know motherofrevels is going to kill me cuz she thought I was working on Chapter 5 of "Affectionate" but here is a parody Chapter 5 story I came up with earlier. Discord conversation at the end made me die of laughter so I put it in the story. Enjoy!

“How is this part restricted and why are they printed in the book anyway?” Ian asked when Barley showed him the title page of the forbidden Chapter 5.

“The historians researching for this book tried to make it as historically accurate as possible. It was originally supposed to be included in the book with the pages revealed, but a strange accident happened that night, so the pages are sealed. This happened to the other books that were being printed: all the pages sealed and no one can access its glorious pages. The most recent copies of Quests of Yore do not contain this section.”

Barley leaned closer to Ian with a grin. 

“I got this first edition copy from Dad! Now you can perform the spell to unlock it! Look at the small text here: ‘Only a magical user will be able to reveal the secrets of the past. Be warned, young sorcerer.’”

Ian was vaguely reminded of Dad’s handwriting at the sight of the small text when Barley nudged him gently.

“Why don’t you recite the lines?”

“Barley, I’m not sure about this..” Ian glanced at the words.

“Come on, Ian! We won’t know what it is unless we try!”

“F Fine!”

Ian cleared his throat and recited the words written down.

The book flipped open and the brothers gasped as Chapter 5 made itself known to them.

“W Wow..” Barley looked at the pages and flipped through them eagerly.

“I never knew what was in here.. I’ve never heard about some of these spells!”

“W What?” Ian peeked over his brother’s shoulder.

“Oh, Ian.. There’s so many amazing things in here!”

Ian looked at the pages and read through some of the things. 

“Aphrodisiac flowers, tentacles, the ability to see through clothes?? Why is that in there!?” Ian exclaimed, backing away from the graphic scenes in the book.

“Ian, come on! A boy of 16 would have sexual urges, right?”

“I I’m not like that!” Ian protested and Barley smirked. 

“Suuure.” Barley said, coming over to Ian and showing off the tentacles once more.

Ian pushed the book away, growing even more flustered.

“Seriously, why are these in the book?”

Barley shrugged, closing the book finally.

“I don’t know. My best guess is that on long and dangerous quests, people would need something to keep them motivated or energized. Sex was definitely a part of this history.”  
He opened the book and showed a few spells for aftercare, which insured both parties were clean and there wasn’t any need for towels or otherwise.

“I mean, imagine getting fucked so good that you can barely walk the next day. This spell is specifically for that purpose.” Barley was saying as he pointed out a healing spell. 

“And why would males want to get pregnant?” Ian asked, biting his lip as the next spell showed the ability to get males pregnant.

“Huh. I’m not sure. It’s interesting though!”

Barley continued flipping through the pages, humming softly.

“I really like the idea of going on a quest to get those flowers..”

Ian rolled his eyes and was about to suggest Barley leave when Barley referred back to the tentacles.

“Ian, this has always been a fantasy of mine. Can you please let me have that?”

Ian blushed, gripping his wizard staff.

“I I guess..” 

He recited the spell and the room transformed into what looked like a dungeon. Ian gasped as tentacles shot from the walls and wrapped Barley in it.

“When do they stop?” He exclaimed, unaware that more tentacles were closing in on him.

“Whenever you cum like three times? Maybe less?” Barley called back, gasping as the tentacles prodded at his crotch.

Ian was about to comment that that was oddly specific when more tentacles wrapped around him. He gasped, dropping his staff as the tentacles began stripping him.

“Barley!”

He shrieked as he was pinned against the wall.

“It’s okay! They’ll be gentle because it’s your first time!”

Ian shuddered as the tentacles stripped him completely. His clothes weren’t ruined which he was surprised at. Then again, maybe the tentacles were considerate?

He glanced at his brother, moaning at the sight of Barley with his legs spread. A single tentacle wrapped itself around Barley’s cock while another one, dripping wet, slid into Barley’s hole. Barely moaned loudly.

The tentacles sensed that Ian was aroused and began stroking him slowly. Ian whined, arching his back as two tentacles latched onto his nipples and started sucking.

He could feel so many sensations at once but he knew he didn’t want to be fucked just yet. The tentacles respected this and instead, brought the brothers closer together.

“B Barley?” Ian gasped out and Barley was wrapping his arms around Ian.

“I It’s fine, Ian.. these tentacles know our hearts desire, or, well.. Mainly mine.”

Ian looked up at him in confusion and that’s when Barley kissed him. It was a hesitant brush against his lips but Ian reciprocated it. They continued kissing each other until the tentacles brought them even closer, causing the brothers to cry out as their cocks touched. 

“P Please, I want to cum!” Ian begged as he wrapped his arms around Barley eagerly. The tentacles caused the brothers to cum at the same time. But they figured it was enough for the brothers. The tentacles waved and the room was slowly transformed back into Ian’s room.

They laid together on the bed, panting softly and still naked.

“W Why didn’t you tell me you liked me sooner?” Ian asked, holding Barley tightly.

“W Well..” Barley rubbed his neck.

“I wasn’t sure if you would feel the same way. And we’re brothers..”

Ian laughed softly as he cuddled against Barley.

“I mean, just seeing your dick made me want you.”

Barley snorted and the two continued cuddling.

~

*Warning: Crack**Prepare for a terrible Discord conversation badly summarized by me*

“We should test out more of those spells.” Barley said once they were cleaned up via the aftercare spell.

“Like what?” Ian asked.

“Well, this is an interesting one. Basically, one of us is super horny and the other has to navigate through the mall and escape. In the olden days, you could have a maze and try to find your way out, but the spell can be readjusted for nowadays.”

“That is a weird spell.”

“It’s not as weird as the fast food place spell. In that one, one of us is once more very horny, but the horny one is sexually violent. So the horny one doesn’t want the specific meat at the fast food place.. they crave something else. And the one who isn’t horny has to protect their McNuggies.”

Ian ugly laughed at that.

“No!! That’s not what I’m calling it!” Ian laughed, dying as Barley sat there, pouting.

“It’s also not as bad as the Infinite Ikea! Or getting tossed into Fantasy Costco amid a panic of some kind and everyone just wants toilet paper!”

Ian was still dying of laughter.

“Okay, those spells were parody spells! Crack, if you will!” Barley protested and Ian was still laughing.

“Fine, we’ll end the chapter here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine if I make this a series titled "Sexy Quests of Yore" XD


End file.
